Dayglow OH

Post 1 in the not-memoir of Zeal Zealothunter

SANDDATE 21:42 03/11/2177

Post 1 in the not-memoir of Zeal Zealothunter, Amateur Land-Pirate, God’s Magnum Opus and Asshole Extraordinaire

DICTATED TO “ACE” KNIGHTHAWK

“Ugh, my damn head ‘urts cause of that flamboyantly bitch-riffic whacker. I think Cap’n Shit-Truck said ‘er name was Vera or Vira or somethin’ like that. Wouldn’t even buy me a drink afterwards. So I made some “empty” threats, no need to go all gun-whack on me poor, beanie-adorned forehead. And, o’ course, now I got to work with ‘er on this mission to find a T.V. transmijigger. I asked around at the bar and these damn things are huge! Like, bigger than aforementioned shit-truck’s bed big! Don’t know how this group will manage to fit as a group. Plus, this ragtag group o’ loons couldn’t be worse to work ‘gether. We got a snooty fancy-gadget-toting, hard-to-understand doctor, a goody two-shoes who chances are is the only one I won’t hate when I die (that’s real humor, the asshole’s only friend is the “good” guy), a crazy (crazier than me) tinkererer who got me head whacked, a gun-crazy psycho-bitch who whacked me, a dick sniper named Lukas (who, the second I fell unconscious, tried to pocket one o’ me fraggers), a horrible prostitute, and a mysterious name-less knife-wieldin’ girl (to be mentioned as “Knives”). And then mine self, shining, perfect model to the kiddies. ‘Hey son, don”t end up like him or else I’ll kill ya me self.’ So, if we don’t make it out alive, my only regret is not bashing Weirda’s head in with one o’ me fraggers and I hope one of you will fulfill my dying/already-dead-by-the-time-you-read-this request. Give one o’ my remaining fraggers to Doc Wizzard and the others to Lukas. With the pins pulled. I expect a coffin made of fine corpses I made myself and to be buried as a bomb in enemy territory. To die as I lived, kicking enemy ass. Welp, Cap’n Shit-truck is signaling me to shut it or I’m walking to the transthing. This has been Zeal Zealothunter’s not-memoir. Our motto is ‘If we’re not dead in a week, you’ll have to suffer through more!’”

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